self proclaimed narcissist

union square subway station. i decide to take the long route home as it's much more scenic, and i'm in a much more scenic mood. i wait patiently, Jame's words echo in my head from our hour long conversation in jennifer's toilet (cut short by a temperamental phone battery). "JAPAN THIS SUMMER!" a voice croaks in my head (it really did croak). and so it croaks! and japan! yes! and then the funniest thing occurs; as i waltz like a mythical new york ballerina faerie with Trois Gymnopedie bouncing off my eardrums, a rat scurries across the piss hole arteries of new york's beating heart. and i'm smiling, smiling and waltzing. only now when my grin visits public places in singular circumstances i do this adorable thing where i bite my lip to keep from looking loony. right, anyway, so i'm smiling at my new friend the vermin, let's give him a name... (the dot dot dot was for me thinking)

PINKERTON! pinkerton makes me all grinny, and this grin is accompanied by a sinking feeling in the depths of my tummy (stuffed with sushi and good conversation) wait! pinkerton! you don't even know what you've done! i stop waltzing and leap into the subway tracks to catch him. i'm hot on his trail. his tail. but then into a hole in the wall his tiny feet scamper! a black hole so insignificant to the human eye that only a god on earth could take notice of its outline. like a spider into that cheese with the holes in it, he goes. i don't know what that kind of cheese is called because i never eat cheese, but that's what it looks like. a spider in a giant wall of cheese. the cheese expands before me and starts sucking on my leg. seriously, i'm in the subway tracks chasing a rat when cheesey blankets of black fleece begin to rap their voluptuous lips on all sides of my body. black people have big lips, but they are nothing compared to that of cheesey blanket fleece walls, LET ME TELL YOU!

it all turns to the black.

there's fleece caressing my now naked body. pinkerton is gone, i'll probably never see him again. we had a connection, for a blip in time i thought about missing new york. but the blip is gone, and now i'm naked in a forest of blankets. my claws are growing fur, and in a tunnel of wind and floating heads of dead african american slaves i am thrust out into the real world again. i'm on the Q train heading to Canal street. but now i'm a lobster with hairy claws. i've got a bag of trailmix but there's a bit of a struggle each time i dive this new clunky 'hand' in for more nutty raisiny goodness. reminds me of when i got my first vibrator (thanks nik). resistance at first, just like a lobster claw in a bag of trail mix.

but my vagina wasn't filled with peanuts, raisins, and sunflower seeds.

as i am a lobster
i must go to sea
but which of three men
will accompany me?

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sashatheelf

self proclaimed narcissist

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